In December last year, I turned 50. Instead of my career being on an elevated level, and on an upward trajectory, like most my peers from high school, college and graduate school, I was jobless and career-less.
I was laid off in Spring 2021. Initially, I was not unhappy about losing my job which I had held for 10 years because I had been very frustrated for some years due to lack of career progress. With no job, I immediately started trading. My thinking was that if I were successful, it will give me lot of financial and personal freedom. I had tried that once before after I was laid-off in 2008. It did not work out then, but I was hoping that it would be different this time. Unfortunately, that was not to be the case, and I quit within 6 months.
I
started looking for jobs but it was not easy. Given my age, I had to
find jobs that exactly fit my experience. I had several interviews for
relatively junior positions. All the interviews went to the final
rounds, but they didn't turn into an offer. I realized my age was
becoming a factor. At this point, I have very little of hope of getting
back on to my earlier career trajectory, even though it was nothing to
write home about. If not a job then what, and that is a big question
hovering around me. At this point, I really don't know. I am confused
like a deer staring at a headlight.
What I know is that I cannot stay confused and directionless for too long. Doing so will create a lot of problems with irreversible long-term impact. First, if I were to get used to sitting idle and being unproductive, it will devastate my pride and my self-worth. I am already an introvert, and my idleness will make me very uncomfortable in social situations; it will lead to more isolation. It will also hurt my self-confidence such that it will make it harder for me to take any initiative, professional or personal. Second, it will impact my family in different ways. Most obviously, it will impact my marriage. Less so, I won't be a good role model my for my teenage son. Third and most importantly, I am not in a financial position to stay idle for the rest of my life. When I was laid-off in 2008, I still had income from investment I had made on a friend's business that covered my living costs. I don't have that now. While my terrible investments in the past 20 years have not devastated my finance, my nest is not too big, and it is shrinking fast. My personal finance will be devastated from any unexpectedly big ticket expense; I am currently hold-off fixing my swimming pool.
When looking for things to do, I need to consider that I still have 20-25 years ahead of me. Finding a job, any job, at my age and hoping to rise up a corporate ladder is not realistic. Moreover, I am not over-enthused about working at a dead-end job, unless I am at the end of my ropes and have no other options. I already had bad experience stuck in prospect-less job. That means I need to find something, even if it is something small now, that can steadily grow over the next 20-25 years.
