I am in the process of updating my resume. It is not the most fun part of the job-search process because it is in essence a sales gig, not my favorite vocation. I have to go through the vast array of work I have done, distill the parts that are relevant to the job I am applying for, and condense all to one page in such a way that the reviewer finds it attractive to call me for the interview; that's the only goal of the resume, to get an interview.
I have reviewed other peoples' resumes and conducted resume writing seminars as a volunteer (for refugees to be specific) but critiquing myself is not the same as critiquing others; it is much harder.
I am not sure what I want to convey in my resume? Unlike many jobs, my title gives away most of what I do. So the goal is not to dwell on the "mundanes" but on "specific" achievements that are attributable to me. That's much harder because I work as a part of a team so I do not have ownership of anything. Anyway, I will have exaggerate something. May be I have to take the advise I used to give when I was volunteering; exaggerate but do not lie.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Working with deadlines
Whatever I do, whether a job or something else i.e. business, I have to find that vocation pretty quickly because I have deadlines approaching. The first key date is mid-Feb when my paycheck stops. The second is late March because my mom wants me to visit her with my son; I better have something by then. Third and potentially more significant is August when my health insurance runs out; this is critical since it impacts not just me but also my wife and son. So there is a huge urgency in resolving my current predicament.
I need a sound strategy to effectively do the job search. I have yet to figure out the details but what I know is that I need to spread my net wide and hopefully I will catch the "fish" that I am looking for. If I don't, I might have to compromise but I will never lose sight of my goals and try to get there asap. My biggest mistake during the past 10 years has been to sit stay on my comfort zone and hope for the best; I am not going to repeat that mistake.
I need a sound strategy to effectively do the job search. I have yet to figure out the details but what I know is that I need to spread my net wide and hopefully I will catch the "fish" that I am looking for. If I don't, I might have to compromise but I will never lose sight of my goals and try to get there asap. My biggest mistake during the past 10 years has been to sit stay on my comfort zone and hope for the best; I am not going to repeat that mistake.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Thinking small, very small....
I have been thinking about entrepreneurial venture(s) in case my job search does not pan out. To be frank, I am not very excited about looking for another job, a job with a big "J" because I have done that for the past 12 years and I have not been very thrilled about it. I have found that it is very hard to get excited about a job, even if it is intellectually stimulating research when you are laboring to achieve other people's goals or being a part of some else's agenda. You lose your identity to borrow Orwell's phrase. At my firm, I have seen older and supposedly more successful folks, and told myself if I wanted to kill myself to be like them in 20 years? The answer has been resounding no. I want make a contribution however small rather than being just a part of a process.
Given my current family cirucmstances, I will be looking for a job, unfortunately. But I have made up my mind that either that job leads to a satisfying career or I am out doing something else. I am not going to waste time, like I did 10 years at my previous firm waiting to be sacrificed. This experience has really opened up my eyes.
Ideally I would like to manage money. Although I have the intellectual capacity to do, I do not have the track record to solicit money. Nobody will give me money.
The second option is to start really really small. Start with a high cash flow business and leverage that cash flow to become a "private investor". This is what Warrent Buffet did (his cash flow source is insurance) or what Ed Lampert of ESL tried using the cash flow from K-mart & Sears (unfortunately he caught in the consumer de-leveraging in the US). In terms of the cash flow business, I feel that gas stations are the possibilities.
So I gave some thoughts to gas station business. I don't know much about it but what I know is that volume is the critical factor in the business. Unforunately, the trend towards alternative energy plus the move towards fuel efficient cars is likely to reduce gasoline consumption going forward. So there has to be consolidation in the industry which does not make it attractive unless you are the consolidator. Again, like any business everything depends on price and location.
I am not sure why I am thinking this way but I am certainly thinking. I do want to find an innovative cash flow business that does not require too much oversight.
Given my current family cirucmstances, I will be looking for a job, unfortunately. But I have made up my mind that either that job leads to a satisfying career or I am out doing something else. I am not going to waste time, like I did 10 years at my previous firm waiting to be sacrificed. This experience has really opened up my eyes.
Ideally I would like to manage money. Although I have the intellectual capacity to do, I do not have the track record to solicit money. Nobody will give me money.
The second option is to start really really small. Start with a high cash flow business and leverage that cash flow to become a "private investor". This is what Warrent Buffet did (his cash flow source is insurance) or what Ed Lampert of ESL tried using the cash flow from K-mart & Sears (unfortunately he caught in the consumer de-leveraging in the US). In terms of the cash flow business, I feel that gas stations are the possibilities.
So I gave some thoughts to gas station business. I don't know much about it but what I know is that volume is the critical factor in the business. Unforunately, the trend towards alternative energy plus the move towards fuel efficient cars is likely to reduce gasoline consumption going forward. So there has to be consolidation in the industry which does not make it attractive unless you are the consolidator. Again, like any business everything depends on price and location.
I am not sure why I am thinking this way but I am certainly thinking. I do want to find an innovative cash flow business that does not require too much oversight.
Between Hopes & Despair
It has been less than a week since I was laid off but I am already going through a phase of hopes and despair. I am not surprised that it has happened to me but I am taken aback by the fact that it happened so quickly - I was giving myself about 3 months for this psychological aliment to set in not 3 days.
On the hopes side, I truly believed that I needed a career jolt to take me out of my comfort zone. Having worked in my previous firm for a decade and hung in there while my managers exited every 2-3 years, for better things of course, I got used to bi-weekly paychecks, familiar work and regular faces. I knew my career was stalled because of high turn-over of managers and lack of career support from either my direct managers or by the overall management but I could not make myself get out of this hole. I was personally dismayed with myself when I saw my peers move up in my organization or when I heard them exit out and do better things. The past 3 years had been particularly bad for my career development because this the time when peers made the most dramatic career improvement. On the plus side though I did learn quite a bit.
I was more than ever ready to move on but I stayed put because I was quite risk-averse. Also I did not have a concrete exit strategy. May be I was following the old Hindu truism, let's leave it to fate, and in retrospect, that was not a great one. To be honest, I did entertain calls from some head-hunters but I did not take them seriously. I also casually looked around but I was not very hopeful because I knew the financial industry, my default area of search, was in deep distress and it like jumping from one burning ship to another.
I did have an ideal career, being a successful investor but that was more a day-dream than a possible reality. I liked the idea of being an investor for number of reasons. First, it gave tangible results so it was not some bs-work like sell-side research. Second, if I were to go back to my native land as an investor, I could help in its development, my most cherished dream. Third, I could help my family if I owned my business rather than being a cog-in-the wheel for someone else. Fourth, it gives flexibility in terms of ability to take time off etc. But I knew it was a fantasy because I did not have the capital either my own or from someone else - getting someone else's capital required reputation and I didn't have that.
I do fantasize about using my job predaciment to get into an "investor career" but I do not think that it is even remotely reasonable. One thing for sure, I will definitely manage my career better this time around. And "being an investor" will always be on the top of my mind.
Now to the despair part of being unemployed. I need to find something quickly before my pay-check starts to dry (mid-Feb) or my health insurance expire (Aug). Since I have been out of the job-search process for at least 10 years, I have no idea how it works. I do not know where to start from unlike in college and grad school where there were career offices to help out. Some of my peers have found positions through their personal network but I have been very lax in building one. This is my achiles hill because I really do not have any high-powered professional network to leverage on; I did not build one becuase I am not a natural salesperson and also because I was enscounced in a relatively comfortable desk job. I have a list of head-hunters but their information is public and I am not sure if I can leverage their information.
The most dis-spiriting part is that I will have to look at sell-side research but I am fairly confident that there will be few opportunities there. Asset management firms and macro hedge-funds are inticing but I am not sure if that will pan out. First, like all the financial services industry they are down-sizing and secondly, they do not advertise jobs so have to use alternative methods get to them. I have to broaden my job search into government and consulting firms. I do not think that I will be the strongest candidate there but even if I were to get into, I am not sure if I will be happy because I am not sure how they'll help me get to my ultimate goal of being an "investor". Geographically, I'd like to stay in NYC given my family circumstances but if push comes to shoves I might have to compromise.
The goal is get-in a job that does investing (asset management, hedge funds etc) but I am not sure if it will pan out. If push comes to shove and nothing pans out my next Christmas, I might have to make a dramatic decision.
On the hopes side, I truly believed that I needed a career jolt to take me out of my comfort zone. Having worked in my previous firm for a decade and hung in there while my managers exited every 2-3 years, for better things of course, I got used to bi-weekly paychecks, familiar work and regular faces. I knew my career was stalled because of high turn-over of managers and lack of career support from either my direct managers or by the overall management but I could not make myself get out of this hole. I was personally dismayed with myself when I saw my peers move up in my organization or when I heard them exit out and do better things. The past 3 years had been particularly bad for my career development because this the time when peers made the most dramatic career improvement. On the plus side though I did learn quite a bit.
I was more than ever ready to move on but I stayed put because I was quite risk-averse. Also I did not have a concrete exit strategy. May be I was following the old Hindu truism, let's leave it to fate, and in retrospect, that was not a great one. To be honest, I did entertain calls from some head-hunters but I did not take them seriously. I also casually looked around but I was not very hopeful because I knew the financial industry, my default area of search, was in deep distress and it like jumping from one burning ship to another.
I did have an ideal career, being a successful investor but that was more a day-dream than a possible reality. I liked the idea of being an investor for number of reasons. First, it gave tangible results so it was not some bs-work like sell-side research. Second, if I were to go back to my native land as an investor, I could help in its development, my most cherished dream. Third, I could help my family if I owned my business rather than being a cog-in-the wheel for someone else. Fourth, it gives flexibility in terms of ability to take time off etc. But I knew it was a fantasy because I did not have the capital either my own or from someone else - getting someone else's capital required reputation and I didn't have that.
I do fantasize about using my job predaciment to get into an "investor career" but I do not think that it is even remotely reasonable. One thing for sure, I will definitely manage my career better this time around. And "being an investor" will always be on the top of my mind.
Now to the despair part of being unemployed. I need to find something quickly before my pay-check starts to dry (mid-Feb) or my health insurance expire (Aug). Since I have been out of the job-search process for at least 10 years, I have no idea how it works. I do not know where to start from unlike in college and grad school where there were career offices to help out. Some of my peers have found positions through their personal network but I have been very lax in building one. This is my achiles hill because I really do not have any high-powered professional network to leverage on; I did not build one becuase I am not a natural salesperson and also because I was enscounced in a relatively comfortable desk job. I have a list of head-hunters but their information is public and I am not sure if I can leverage their information.
The most dis-spiriting part is that I will have to look at sell-side research but I am fairly confident that there will be few opportunities there. Asset management firms and macro hedge-funds are inticing but I am not sure if that will pan out. First, like all the financial services industry they are down-sizing and secondly, they do not advertise jobs so have to use alternative methods get to them. I have to broaden my job search into government and consulting firms. I do not think that I will be the strongest candidate there but even if I were to get into, I am not sure if I will be happy because I am not sure how they'll help me get to my ultimate goal of being an "investor". Geographically, I'd like to stay in NYC given my family circumstances but if push comes to shoves I might have to compromise.
The goal is get-in a job that does investing (asset management, hedge funds etc) but I am not sure if it will pan out. If push comes to shove and nothing pans out my next Christmas, I might have to make a dramatic decision.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
But Why?
I have been giving some thoughts as to why I was laid off because I really wanted to understand and rationalize the thinking and the process behind it. Again I do not feel sorry for myself because I had felt quite miserable at work for a while, and I had conveyed that sentiment to my wife repeatedly. My wife had even suggested that I look for opportunities elsewhere. Although I had heeded to her advice and looked around internally and externally I had not found anything that really excited me. For me to jump ships, the offering had to be meaningfully better, and to be frank it was not easy to find one because my work was interesting and the only big piece missing was career progression due to lack of support from either management or from the manager. The latter problem was exacerbated by high turn-0ver in my group. While my peers, some of whom I thought were not as competent were moving up in titles and responsibilities I was stuck with no glimmer of hope in sight. Another constraining factor was family; with a young family I preferred stability; my immediate family would not have been thrilled if I had left a global investment bank for something less.
Could I have stayed longer and fixed the career problem and thus square the circle? Yes it would have been possible but it would have been a long up-hill battle and I am not sure if I was ready for it. First, I had to get strong support from my manager who was based in London with the rest of my team. Given that I had recently joined the team and the geographic distance, it would have been difficult and time consuming to build a solid rapport. Second I did not have any kind of working relationship with the US head; for all intents and purposes she ignored my existence. I think that both those managers cared less about career because neither of them hired me, but rather I was inducted into their teams when my managers left and I stuck around; so neither had stakes in my success. The London guy had to told me he wanted to hire someone to market his products (meaning that I was not that person) and the US lady had supposedly interviewed someone (established?) to work in the position similar to mine. All in all, I was being screwed all around because I was the weakest link. My problems with the mangers in London and US would have been less of an issue if I had exposure and support from clients. Unfortunately my previous managers did not give me any opportunity to build supportive clients around me.
Could I have stayed longer and fixed the career problem and thus square the circle? Yes it would have been possible but it would have been a long up-hill battle and I am not sure if I was ready for it. First, I had to get strong support from my manager who was based in London with the rest of my team. Given that I had recently joined the team and the geographic distance, it would have been difficult and time consuming to build a solid rapport. Second I did not have any kind of working relationship with the US head; for all intents and purposes she ignored my existence. I think that both those managers cared less about career because neither of them hired me, but rather I was inducted into their teams when my managers left and I stuck around; so neither had stakes in my success. The London guy had to told me he wanted to hire someone to market his products (meaning that I was not that person) and the US lady had supposedly interviewed someone (established?) to work in the position similar to mine. All in all, I was being screwed all around because I was the weakest link. My problems with the mangers in London and US would have been less of an issue if I had exposure and support from clients. Unfortunately my previous managers did not give me any opportunity to build supportive clients around me.
Tough Times Ahead
Met an old college friend yesterday at a Starbucks near my office. I saw faces from my firm that I recognized but didn't meet anyone I knew personally.
My friend used to work at a division of a large investment bank that planned to invest in infrastructure - the hot investment sector along with the alternative energy. Unfortunately they were in the process of raising $1 billion when the credit crisis hit the market. Obviously they were not able to do so and had to lay-off people. Supposedly it happened to him in August. I was quite surprised to hear that because I thought his group had already raised the money. Anyway, I had not seen him since last year and it was good to catch up with him.
His message was that it was tough out there. He went to a very prestigious business school in the United State but he said he gets e-mails almost everyday from his b-school chums who are getting laid-off. He is counting on his personal network as well as head hunters but the latter were saying absolutely nothing available at the time. He said he was pretty flexible in terms of the what he wants to do and where. He exploring anything from entrepreneurial venture to infrastructure investment - supposedly one his b-school chums have created a 2nd largest drug store chains in India - and in the US as well as in his native country. He said that he had opportunities in his native country when he visited there for couple of months but they were not financially rewarding (when he said the actual number, I thought they were very good).
I told him the reasons why I got laid off and why I didn't miss the work. I also let him know about my hobby of maintaining an economic blog of my native land. He encouraged me to leverage the blog solicit money from donor organizations to make a living - supposedly someone he knows it doing that at the World Bank - but I was not persuaded. He was blissfully unware of the challenges. Moreover, I told him that that way of making a living is not me. Ideally I want to be a private investor with a think-tank of the side.
Me and my chatted for couple of hours exchanging information about our mutual friends and talking about international politics.
My friend used to work at a division of a large investment bank that planned to invest in infrastructure - the hot investment sector along with the alternative energy. Unfortunately they were in the process of raising $1 billion when the credit crisis hit the market. Obviously they were not able to do so and had to lay-off people. Supposedly it happened to him in August. I was quite surprised to hear that because I thought his group had already raised the money. Anyway, I had not seen him since last year and it was good to catch up with him.
His message was that it was tough out there. He went to a very prestigious business school in the United State but he said he gets e-mails almost everyday from his b-school chums who are getting laid-off. He is counting on his personal network as well as head hunters but the latter were saying absolutely nothing available at the time. He said he was pretty flexible in terms of the what he wants to do and where. He exploring anything from entrepreneurial venture to infrastructure investment - supposedly one his b-school chums have created a 2nd largest drug store chains in India - and in the US as well as in his native country. He said that he had opportunities in his native country when he visited there for couple of months but they were not financially rewarding (when he said the actual number, I thought they were very good).
I told him the reasons why I got laid off and why I didn't miss the work. I also let him know about my hobby of maintaining an economic blog of my native land. He encouraged me to leverage the blog solicit money from donor organizations to make a living - supposedly someone he knows it doing that at the World Bank - but I was not persuaded. He was blissfully unware of the challenges. Moreover, I told him that that way of making a living is not me. Ideally I want to be a private investor with a think-tank of the side.
Me and my chatted for couple of hours exchanging information about our mutual friends and talking about international politics.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Re-living the last 3 days
This is my personal journal and I am writing it because I am at a cross-road of my professional life following the first lay-off of my 12-year long career. Cross-road in Chinese has two characters one signifies opportunities and the other risks and the challenge is to pick the "path to opportunities". I want to use this journal to put the array of choices and challenges in front of me in prospective and to help me guide make a wise decision.
Although the journal is on the internet thus on public domain, it actually is not. First it is impossible to find it unless you know its unusual URL. Second, even if you stumble on it accidentally while googling for something else, you won't (I hope) know my identity. Third, I am making it the most boring site on the internet so it does not make an unwarranted invitation. The reason for my writing on a blog format is because I can read, write and edit it from anywhere in the world; you never where I will end on any particular day.
I got laid off from a NYC based investment bank on Dec 10, 2008. I think the time it happened was around 12:20am because I had just gotten back to my desk with my lunch at hand. It was the D-day for lay-offs at the firm following an announcement in the previous week that it had lost more than $2.5 billion in Oct-Nov (Q4 period) and was laying off 5,300 people. Through the morning I had received e-mails from colleagues, some familiar others not, saying that they were "moving on". I had given a high probability of becoming a casualty of the corporate re-structuring so much so that I had prepared my family for the eventuality. When I received a call while I was chowing down my basil-pasta, the voice on the other side was the global head of research (honcho) asking me to come to the 10th floor, I knew my fate was sealed.
I met the honcho and a HR rep in a room. The honcho started giving me the usual lines about the difficulty of making such decision etc etc. I told him that I understand the situation given that I had survived through many rounds of lay-offs and lost many colleagues in the process, and I didn't take it personally (and I really didn't). Then he left the room and I talk to the HR rep about the details. The severance was not as generous as I thought would be although when I later talked to a dear friend he said it was quite generous. The key for me was health insurance and I was assured that I won't have to pay for anything until 9 month following the official termination date which is mid-February i.e. until November 2009. Then I quietly returned to my desk and I don't quite remember whether I finished eating the pasta.
I called my wife but could not reach her and left a message. Tried to call my mom but she was back in the village and the cell phone did not pick up the signal. I called my brother and told him the news and asked him to relay the message to my mom. I called my mom-in-law and told her news also. She was quite devastated. I told my colleague around me and told that it was not a big deal and it may not be a bad thing for me after all. I was pretty jocular given the circumstances because I did not want my colleagues to feel sorry for me (I did not felt sorry for myself). I gave up my company ID card and left the building for the last time.
I headed to my wife's workplace and deliver the news personally. She was surprised but not devastated. She seemed more concerned about me which I found re-refreshing. Then I walked for and hour or so and stopped by couple of bars. Also smoked for the first time in 3-4 years - it felt good but I knew it was only for a day. Talked to a very good friend for an hour half-drunk. Basically I repeated my mantra that I would take this as an opportunity to explore things because my career had basically stalled at my erstwhile firm. I told him the circumstance which could have led to my being laid-off - essentially I was the weakest link in my group. On my way home I grabbed a six-pack and slept drunk.
The next day I started e-mailing friends about my situation. It was time to inform them and also also solicit their support and help in my next gig. Moreover, I had been out of touch with so many of them that it was an excuse for me to re-establish the link. More than ever I realized the importance of personal network. Quite a few of them called me personally and many replied to my e-mail. It led me to set-up informal meetings with them for the next week or so.
The first order of business was to establish some kind of routine to get through the day. Although I did not miss my former employer or my work, I was pretty apprehensive about the future especially given the state of the economy. If I were alone I would have taken it as an opportunity to take a sabbatical but I had a family to support. Before being laid off I had thought about going back to my native land for a month or so. The day after my lay-off I proposed that idea to my wife and she was adamantly against it. Later that day I came around to her view. Given the enormous uncertainty of my situation, I have to start thinking about my next gig asap and once things get settled then I can go back home. Back to the routine-thing, I decided to work out everyday in the morning to break the day - previously I only worked out during the weekends. I will wake up early in the morning to read news, update my blogs, and start the job search or think about the opportunities. In the afternoon, I will try to connect to as many people as possible either by meeting in person or through phone calls. I am already set to see a friend later this afternoon and more next week. Beyond that my schedule is pretty empty.
Although the journal is on the internet thus on public domain, it actually is not. First it is impossible to find it unless you know its unusual URL. Second, even if you stumble on it accidentally while googling for something else, you won't (I hope) know my identity. Third, I am making it the most boring site on the internet so it does not make an unwarranted invitation. The reason for my writing on a blog format is because I can read, write and edit it from anywhere in the world; you never where I will end on any particular day.
I got laid off from a NYC based investment bank on Dec 10, 2008. I think the time it happened was around 12:20am because I had just gotten back to my desk with my lunch at hand. It was the D-day for lay-offs at the firm following an announcement in the previous week that it had lost more than $2.5 billion in Oct-Nov (Q4 period) and was laying off 5,300 people. Through the morning I had received e-mails from colleagues, some familiar others not, saying that they were "moving on". I had given a high probability of becoming a casualty of the corporate re-structuring so much so that I had prepared my family for the eventuality. When I received a call while I was chowing down my basil-pasta, the voice on the other side was the global head of research (honcho) asking me to come to the 10th floor, I knew my fate was sealed.
I met the honcho and a HR rep in a room. The honcho started giving me the usual lines about the difficulty of making such decision etc etc. I told him that I understand the situation given that I had survived through many rounds of lay-offs and lost many colleagues in the process, and I didn't take it personally (and I really didn't). Then he left the room and I talk to the HR rep about the details. The severance was not as generous as I thought would be although when I later talked to a dear friend he said it was quite generous. The key for me was health insurance and I was assured that I won't have to pay for anything until 9 month following the official termination date which is mid-February i.e. until November 2009. Then I quietly returned to my desk and I don't quite remember whether I finished eating the pasta.
I called my wife but could not reach her and left a message. Tried to call my mom but she was back in the village and the cell phone did not pick up the signal. I called my brother and told him the news and asked him to relay the message to my mom. I called my mom-in-law and told her news also. She was quite devastated. I told my colleague around me and told that it was not a big deal and it may not be a bad thing for me after all. I was pretty jocular given the circumstances because I did not want my colleagues to feel sorry for me (I did not felt sorry for myself). I gave up my company ID card and left the building for the last time.
I headed to my wife's workplace and deliver the news personally. She was surprised but not devastated. She seemed more concerned about me which I found re-refreshing. Then I walked for and hour or so and stopped by couple of bars. Also smoked for the first time in 3-4 years - it felt good but I knew it was only for a day. Talked to a very good friend for an hour half-drunk. Basically I repeated my mantra that I would take this as an opportunity to explore things because my career had basically stalled at my erstwhile firm. I told him the circumstance which could have led to my being laid-off - essentially I was the weakest link in my group. On my way home I grabbed a six-pack and slept drunk.
The next day I started e-mailing friends about my situation. It was time to inform them and also also solicit their support and help in my next gig. Moreover, I had been out of touch with so many of them that it was an excuse for me to re-establish the link. More than ever I realized the importance of personal network. Quite a few of them called me personally and many replied to my e-mail. It led me to set-up informal meetings with them for the next week or so.
The first order of business was to establish some kind of routine to get through the day. Although I did not miss my former employer or my work, I was pretty apprehensive about the future especially given the state of the economy. If I were alone I would have taken it as an opportunity to take a sabbatical but I had a family to support. Before being laid off I had thought about going back to my native land for a month or so. The day after my lay-off I proposed that idea to my wife and she was adamantly against it. Later that day I came around to her view. Given the enormous uncertainty of my situation, I have to start thinking about my next gig asap and once things get settled then I can go back home. Back to the routine-thing, I decided to work out everyday in the morning to break the day - previously I only worked out during the weekends. I will wake up early in the morning to read news, update my blogs, and start the job search or think about the opportunities. In the afternoon, I will try to connect to as many people as possible either by meeting in person or through phone calls. I am already set to see a friend later this afternoon and more next week. Beyond that my schedule is pretty empty.
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