It has been less than a week since I was laid off but I am already going through a phase of hopes and despair. I am not surprised that it has happened to me but I am taken aback by the fact that it happened so quickly - I was giving myself about 3 months for this psychological aliment to set in not 3 days.
On the hopes side, I truly believed that I needed a career jolt to take me out of my comfort zone. Having worked in my previous firm for a decade and hung in there while my managers exited every 2-3 years, for better things of course, I got used to bi-weekly paychecks, familiar work and regular faces. I knew my career was stalled because of high turn-over of managers and lack of career support from either my direct managers or by the overall management but I could not make myself get out of this hole. I was personally dismayed with myself when I saw my peers move up in my organization or when I heard them exit out and do better things. The past 3 years had been particularly bad for my career development because this the time when peers made the most dramatic career improvement. On the plus side though I did learn quite a bit.
I was more than ever ready to move on but I stayed put because I was quite risk-averse. Also I did not have a concrete exit strategy. May be I was following the old Hindu truism, let's leave it to fate, and in retrospect, that was not a great one. To be honest, I did entertain calls from some head-hunters but I did not take them seriously. I also casually looked around but I was not very hopeful because I knew the financial industry, my default area of search, was in deep distress and it like jumping from one burning ship to another.
I did have an ideal career, being a successful investor but that was more a day-dream than a possible reality. I liked the idea of being an investor for number of reasons. First, it gave tangible results so it was not some bs-work like sell-side research. Second, if I were to go back to my native land as an investor, I could help in its development, my most cherished dream. Third, I could help my family if I owned my business rather than being a cog-in-the wheel for someone else. Fourth, it gives flexibility in terms of ability to take time off etc. But I knew it was a fantasy because I did not have the capital either my own or from someone else - getting someone else's capital required reputation and I didn't have that.
I do fantasize about using my job predaciment to get into an "investor career" but I do not think that it is even remotely reasonable. One thing for sure, I will definitely manage my career better this time around. And "being an investor" will always be on the top of my mind.
Now to the despair part of being unemployed. I need to find something quickly before my pay-check starts to dry (mid-Feb) or my health insurance expire (Aug). Since I have been out of the job-search process for at least 10 years, I have no idea how it works. I do not know where to start from unlike in college and grad school where there were career offices to help out. Some of my peers have found positions through their personal network but I have been very lax in building one. This is my achiles hill because I really do not have any high-powered professional network to leverage on; I did not build one becuase I am not a natural salesperson and also because I was enscounced in a relatively comfortable desk job. I have a list of head-hunters but their information is public and I am not sure if I can leverage their information.
The most dis-spiriting part is that I will have to look at sell-side research but I am fairly confident that there will be few opportunities there. Asset management firms and macro hedge-funds are inticing but I am not sure if that will pan out. First, like all the financial services industry they are down-sizing and secondly, they do not advertise jobs so have to use alternative methods get to them. I have to broaden my job search into government and consulting firms. I do not think that I will be the strongest candidate there but even if I were to get into, I am not sure if I will be happy because I am not sure how they'll help me get to my ultimate goal of being an "investor". Geographically, I'd like to stay in NYC given my family circumstances but if push comes to shoves I might have to compromise.
The goal is get-in a job that does investing (asset management, hedge funds etc) but I am not sure if it will pan out. If push comes to shove and nothing pans out my next Christmas, I might have to make a dramatic decision.
